Attitude is an amazing thing. Based on the attitude one has determines how ones day will go. Little things can change it too, things that seem so small can have profound impacts on it. It is something that most people take for granted too. Something that is paid attention to in others but often overlooked in their selves. It is the one thing that people truly have control over but instead let others guide in the course of their day.
It may not come as a surprise to some of you but I used to really hate my self. I had allowed my attitude to become so bad that sarcasm and snideness spewed forth out of my mouth almost constantly. I could see nothing good in the world, and figured if I was going to be miserable all the time then those around me should be too. This didn't win me many new friends and put great strain on the friendships I had at the time. There are plenty of things I could blame for my attitude at the time, and I did.
After all I was sick and on chemo, my Mom had passed, and life in general wasn't going like I thought it should. Instead of reaching out and letting people help me I pushed away every hand that was reached out to me. I was going to live life on my terms. It's amazing, looking back now I realize my terms lead to even more problems. In the end they just made me more miserable.
I allowed my already bad attitude to drag me down. If it wasn't for the friends who stayed by me through everything I might still be on the path of self loathing that had influenced me to chose that course of action. But it was because of these friends that the little things I needed to realize became clear to me.
I am worth it. So simple of a phrase. If others are willing to spend time with you, ask how you are, and make sure things are going okay, if they think you are worth it then who are you to say your not? People wont put the time or effort into something they don't see potential in. Everyone wants to be lifted up, made to feel better. Because people want to be lifted up they will find things that they think will do that for them. It isn't enough though for others to think you're worth it; you have to believe you are worth it. Just that little step can make a huge change in attitude. When you believe you are worth it you don't let things get to you as much. Sure there is still a challenge but you can over come it because you are worth it and whatever the challenge, well after it you'll still be worth it.
I've also learned that the way you dress and carry your self is an outward expression of your attitude. People can tell by looking at you what kind of experience interacting with you will lead to. But the more important thing is how it makes you feel. Dressing in clothes that are full of holes or look like you slept in them just doesn't make you feel good. When you don't feel good about your self it leads to not having a very good attitude.
Of course others that cross the path of ones life have impacts on attitude too. You can't control how others will act others will treat you. The one thing that can be controlled though is how one acts with how others treat them. Just because others are having bad days or take things out on someone doesn't mean that it has to ruin the day. Instead of letting it bring you down look for ways to bring them up. Who knows, that little bit of niceness just might be what they need in the day.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Things That Have Shaped My Life, Part 2: Les Miserables
Music can stir the soul in a way few other things can. When a piece of music stirs you it stays with you always. The beauty of music is that the same song can have different meanings for all those that hear it. No two people will interput the song the same way. I credit my Mother for my love of music and musical theater. She was always pushing me to expand my horizons.
My first exposure to Les Miserable was not the musical however, instead it was a two part TV miniseries. My mom was instant that I watch it and I remember sitting down as a family to watch it. I was floored by the story. It's a redemption story like no other. I believe I was about 16 when I saw it. From that moment I knew that I would never look at things the same way again.
It would be after my Mom passed away that I would discover the musical. I would find the 10th anniversary CD at Fred Myers. Over the next couple of weeks I would just continue listening to the CD over and over.
Valjean would teach me that no matter what you have in your past you can overcome it. That every act of kindness helps build us into a better person. That we need to take care of others also. The things we are given to us are a gift, and that we need to use those gifts to better the lives of others.
Javert would teach me that you can not let hatred blind you to the world around you. That becoming so focused on one thing can lead you to ruining your life and the lives of those you come in contact with.
Thenardier would come to embody what happens when you aren't honest with your fellow men. That you reap what you sow.
This musical is something that I still listen to even today. The feeling one gets when listening to the wonderful songs is one of awe. The spirit of the music moves you from tears to laughter, to hope, to fear, and to overwhelming joy. I love this story, I love the music, and I love my Mom caring enough to force a teenage boy to watch that movie.\
My first exposure to Les Miserable was not the musical however, instead it was a two part TV miniseries. My mom was instant that I watch it and I remember sitting down as a family to watch it. I was floored by the story. It's a redemption story like no other. I believe I was about 16 when I saw it. From that moment I knew that I would never look at things the same way again.
It would be after my Mom passed away that I would discover the musical. I would find the 10th anniversary CD at Fred Myers. Over the next couple of weeks I would just continue listening to the CD over and over.
Valjean would teach me that no matter what you have in your past you can overcome it. That every act of kindness helps build us into a better person. That we need to take care of others also. The things we are given to us are a gift, and that we need to use those gifts to better the lives of others.
Javert would teach me that you can not let hatred blind you to the world around you. That becoming so focused on one thing can lead you to ruining your life and the lives of those you come in contact with.
Thenardier would come to embody what happens when you aren't honest with your fellow men. That you reap what you sow.
This musical is something that I still listen to even today. The feeling one gets when listening to the wonderful songs is one of awe. The spirit of the music moves you from tears to laughter, to hope, to fear, and to overwhelming joy. I love this story, I love the music, and I love my Mom caring enough to force a teenage boy to watch that movie.\
Things That Have Shaped My Life, Part 1: My Father
Everyone has moments in their life when they feel on top of the world. Those moments where they fell like no matter what they can overcome anything and everything that life throws at them. On the opposite side of the coin is the feeling that regardless of what they do they can't overcome what is happening now. These are two extremes that regardless of who someone is feels at sometime. However some people feel one or the other more often then others and no two people have the same experience with these feelings.
We are the only ones who can control how we feel. Each choice we make has a direct impact on what the outcome will be. We can not dictate the outcome however, just influence it to be more in favor of what we would like. Even if the outcome isn't something we would like, we can still find a way to make it a positive experience. I've had many things in my life that have taught me this. One such thing is the relationship with my Father.
When I was little Dad would come home from work and I knew to leave him alone. He was tired from working all day and I didn't need to be underfoot. If Dad wanted to do something then he would let you know and come get me. We would have days where it was just us also. These were mostly hunting and fishing trips that just the two of us would go on. I never thought this was strange or different, I just figured this was the way it was.
Our relationship took its first strange turn when I was 15. That is when I was diagnosed with my eye problem. At first Doctors thought it was pink eye and treated for that. It would be two weeks of nothing changing before Doctors would decided it wasn't pink eye. After spending all day with me at Doctors offices we were told it was Acute Uveitis and that it would be a matter of time before I lost all sight in my right eye. My Dad has always been strong, I never really knew what he was thinking, but in that moment I thought I saw a flicker of fear for his child. I was scared beyond belief. Here I was 15 and being told I was going to most likely lose my sight and my Dad was scared.
However whatever he was feeling was replaced by the support I needed. He was there with me through every test, every hospital stay, and every Doctor appointment. It didn't matter what time, where, or how far we had to go if something went on with my eye he was there. He missed a lot of work to take care of me even though my Mom could have taken me to appointments. That is something I'll never forget, that my Dad cared enough to be there every step of the way.
The next big change we faced was losing my Mom in the summer of 2001. It was August and I was 17. It was the 11th of the month and I had just gotten back from camping with my friend Matt. My Mother wasn't doing well but it was my niece Mackenzie's 7th birthday party. My parents sent us to dinner without them. None of us children wanted to be gone for long because we were worried about Mom but at the same time we couldn't ruin Mack's birthday. When we got back to the house it was only a few hours before Mom was gone. None of us saw it coming.
That was the first time I had ever seen my Dad cry. In all my life up tell that point Dad had been the strong one. Now here he sat crying as the world around us seemed to be falling apart. I didn't know what to do. With everything that was going on I seemed to fall through the cracks. But even when his world was falling apart too he made sure that mine stayed together as much as it could. One of the first things he did that night was make sure I had somewhere to stay if I didn't want to go into the house. Even in his darkest hour he was watching out for me, trying to protect me.
That year that followed could not have been easy for him. I know I didn't make it easy for him. Even though I knew he cared about me I felt like I didn't really know him. Mom had always been the buffer between us, the common ground. Now here we were having to deal with each other on a level we never had to before. It was because of that love however that we were able to make it through. As much as I respected him before I came to respect him much more over the first few months of it just being us.
I almost lost him not even a year after I lost my Mother. He got very sick and ended up having three major surgeries. There was a time when the Doctors told us that we needed to be prepared that he could go at any moment. As much as loosing my Mom had hurt the idea of losing my Dad seemed to hurt even more. I wasn't ready for this. I was 18, I needed him still.
He got better but it was a long road to his recovery. I felt responsible that after all he had done for me that I needed to steep up and take care of him. Even though I was still struggling with my Chemotherapy I made it a priority to make sure the house was clean, groceries gotten, and meals prepared. I couldn't do much but I was determined to do what I could. My life could wait.
Then he married my Step-Mom when I was 21. This changed everything. I had focused so hard on taking care of my Dad that I didn't have the skills I needed to cope with not being responsible for things around the house. Neither had I really thought about leaving. But she made sure that I left. Instead of trying to find my own way I was thrown out into the world to sink or swim.
Luckily I've always had friends I can depend on. Somehow she was able to turn my Dad on me in the process too. I don't know what she said or what she did but I found my self cut off from him. It would remain that way for most of the time tell I was 26. While it was better for a while, now at 28 it seems to be at the point of where I'm tolerated once again.
When I came to stay with them in Utah so I could go to school things seemed like maybe they had gotten better. Yet the facade that had been built would come tumbling down on December 3rd of 2011. That was the day I was physically assaulted by my Step-Mom. I wont get into much detail but what matters is that I was able to see that I had already learned the lessons of compassion, love, strength, and tenderness I needed from my Dad.
While our relationship might not be as strong as it once was the lessons he has taught me can never be taken away. The memories I have of him are mine and deeply personal. I've seen where he has been and what he has done and can use those for guidelines in my own life. I will always be thankful for the things my Dad did to help shape my life.
We are the only ones who can control how we feel. Each choice we make has a direct impact on what the outcome will be. We can not dictate the outcome however, just influence it to be more in favor of what we would like. Even if the outcome isn't something we would like, we can still find a way to make it a positive experience. I've had many things in my life that have taught me this. One such thing is the relationship with my Father.
When I was little Dad would come home from work and I knew to leave him alone. He was tired from working all day and I didn't need to be underfoot. If Dad wanted to do something then he would let you know and come get me. We would have days where it was just us also. These were mostly hunting and fishing trips that just the two of us would go on. I never thought this was strange or different, I just figured this was the way it was.
Our relationship took its first strange turn when I was 15. That is when I was diagnosed with my eye problem. At first Doctors thought it was pink eye and treated for that. It would be two weeks of nothing changing before Doctors would decided it wasn't pink eye. After spending all day with me at Doctors offices we were told it was Acute Uveitis and that it would be a matter of time before I lost all sight in my right eye. My Dad has always been strong, I never really knew what he was thinking, but in that moment I thought I saw a flicker of fear for his child. I was scared beyond belief. Here I was 15 and being told I was going to most likely lose my sight and my Dad was scared.
However whatever he was feeling was replaced by the support I needed. He was there with me through every test, every hospital stay, and every Doctor appointment. It didn't matter what time, where, or how far we had to go if something went on with my eye he was there. He missed a lot of work to take care of me even though my Mom could have taken me to appointments. That is something I'll never forget, that my Dad cared enough to be there every step of the way.
The next big change we faced was losing my Mom in the summer of 2001. It was August and I was 17. It was the 11th of the month and I had just gotten back from camping with my friend Matt. My Mother wasn't doing well but it was my niece Mackenzie's 7th birthday party. My parents sent us to dinner without them. None of us children wanted to be gone for long because we were worried about Mom but at the same time we couldn't ruin Mack's birthday. When we got back to the house it was only a few hours before Mom was gone. None of us saw it coming.
That was the first time I had ever seen my Dad cry. In all my life up tell that point Dad had been the strong one. Now here he sat crying as the world around us seemed to be falling apart. I didn't know what to do. With everything that was going on I seemed to fall through the cracks. But even when his world was falling apart too he made sure that mine stayed together as much as it could. One of the first things he did that night was make sure I had somewhere to stay if I didn't want to go into the house. Even in his darkest hour he was watching out for me, trying to protect me.
That year that followed could not have been easy for him. I know I didn't make it easy for him. Even though I knew he cared about me I felt like I didn't really know him. Mom had always been the buffer between us, the common ground. Now here we were having to deal with each other on a level we never had to before. It was because of that love however that we were able to make it through. As much as I respected him before I came to respect him much more over the first few months of it just being us.
I almost lost him not even a year after I lost my Mother. He got very sick and ended up having three major surgeries. There was a time when the Doctors told us that we needed to be prepared that he could go at any moment. As much as loosing my Mom had hurt the idea of losing my Dad seemed to hurt even more. I wasn't ready for this. I was 18, I needed him still.
He got better but it was a long road to his recovery. I felt responsible that after all he had done for me that I needed to steep up and take care of him. Even though I was still struggling with my Chemotherapy I made it a priority to make sure the house was clean, groceries gotten, and meals prepared. I couldn't do much but I was determined to do what I could. My life could wait.
Then he married my Step-Mom when I was 21. This changed everything. I had focused so hard on taking care of my Dad that I didn't have the skills I needed to cope with not being responsible for things around the house. Neither had I really thought about leaving. But she made sure that I left. Instead of trying to find my own way I was thrown out into the world to sink or swim.
Luckily I've always had friends I can depend on. Somehow she was able to turn my Dad on me in the process too. I don't know what she said or what she did but I found my self cut off from him. It would remain that way for most of the time tell I was 26. While it was better for a while, now at 28 it seems to be at the point of where I'm tolerated once again.
When I came to stay with them in Utah so I could go to school things seemed like maybe they had gotten better. Yet the facade that had been built would come tumbling down on December 3rd of 2011. That was the day I was physically assaulted by my Step-Mom. I wont get into much detail but what matters is that I was able to see that I had already learned the lessons of compassion, love, strength, and tenderness I needed from my Dad.
While our relationship might not be as strong as it once was the lessons he has taught me can never be taken away. The memories I have of him are mine and deeply personal. I've seen where he has been and what he has done and can use those for guidelines in my own life. I will always be thankful for the things my Dad did to help shape my life.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Heavenly Father
I've often wondered how anyone can look around at the world and say that there is no God. Then I remember that I had been at a point where I had thought if there is a God he doesn't care, or maybe there wasn't one. It's really easy to get to that point, people don't realize that or if they do they chose to ignore it. I'm grateful that even through the times I doubted he never gave up on me and continued to bless me.
At sixteen I was diagnosed with an eye problem. My eyes and optic nerves were swelling and scaring. The worse part about the whole thing is the Doctors couldn't figure out why. I was hit with test after test. Cat scans, MRI, and spinal tap. You name it they did it to me trying to figure out what was wrong. Everyone kept telling me Heavenly Father would watch over me and help me get through this ordeal. I was sixteen. This wasn't what being this age was supposed to be about. I started to doubt at this point, i mean how could me possibly loosing my eyesight be a part of His plan for me?
I tried praying and I kept getting the same answer. That things would work out. How could they though when the Doctors couldn't find the cause of the problem? It made no since. As I was put on medicines that made me sick I thought for sure that the voice I was hearing was my own telling myself what I wanted to hear.
Then right before I turned 18 my Mom passed away and I was back on my meds for my eyes. I was still praying and trying to figure out what was going on. Why was I having to go through all this? What was the point? I mean Heavenly Father is supposed to want the best for us, how was this the best for me? Again I got the answer that everything would be fine and it would be revealed in time. Well I didn't want to wait, I wanted the answer now.
Alaska came after that. It was there that I got my answer. That was when I really came to know God. Partially through study and also through just being in a place that you could see His marvels abound. Once I had my answer I thought that was it. I had gotten what I was looking for so I could stop trying so hard. But by stopping I started thinking more about how I was going to do things, how I was going to get what I wanted. It was about me and I didn't care about the people I hurt along the way. I became very hard hearted and wasn't worried about anyone but me.
I had glimpsed the truth and chose the quick and easy path instead of working for something that mattered. I wanted satisfaction now. That was a very dark time for me. I did a lot of things I'm not proud of. However if I could go back and change it I wouldn't. Those things I wont talk about here, but it is enough for me to say that because of them I was able to learn even more.
Moving to Utah I meet a man at school who reached out to me. He touched my life in such a gentle way and showed me what it was that was making me so miserable. Because someone cared to reach out to a stranger my life has improved so much.
I had the light and I chose the dark. That is part of the beauty of what God does. He loves us enough that he is willing to let us make our mistakes, he isn't going to force us to do the right thing. People ask why he allows bad things to happen to good people. To them I say because he loves us he allows each of us to chose, sometimes the choices people make lead to bad things happening. He will hold each of us accountable for what we chose.
I know there is a God. I know my Heavenly Father loves me. There is no doubt it my mind. I still don't know the full reason why things have to happen the way they do, but I do know that each step along they way he wants to be there for us we just have to let him. If life was easy we would never grow, if life was fair we wouldn't appreciate what we had, if there was no sadness we could never know joy.
I watch my Father and see how much pain he goes through because of his children when we do something that leads to a bad end. I see him want to rescue us but there isn't anything he can do to make it better. I can only imagine what our Father in Heaven feels.
I watched as his son was suffered in the garden for us. He stood by as his son was beaten and taunted. He allowed them to nail him to a tree. He did this so we might have a way back to him. Christ was willing to do this for us. The love they have is amazing and at times I don't feel I'm worth it. I am though. God loves us, Christ loves us. I know this and I had to share it. I don't know how well I did but I hope that you can feel their love as much as I do. I am so grateful to have their love in my life.
At sixteen I was diagnosed with an eye problem. My eyes and optic nerves were swelling and scaring. The worse part about the whole thing is the Doctors couldn't figure out why. I was hit with test after test. Cat scans, MRI, and spinal tap. You name it they did it to me trying to figure out what was wrong. Everyone kept telling me Heavenly Father would watch over me and help me get through this ordeal. I was sixteen. This wasn't what being this age was supposed to be about. I started to doubt at this point, i mean how could me possibly loosing my eyesight be a part of His plan for me?
I tried praying and I kept getting the same answer. That things would work out. How could they though when the Doctors couldn't find the cause of the problem? It made no since. As I was put on medicines that made me sick I thought for sure that the voice I was hearing was my own telling myself what I wanted to hear.
Then right before I turned 18 my Mom passed away and I was back on my meds for my eyes. I was still praying and trying to figure out what was going on. Why was I having to go through all this? What was the point? I mean Heavenly Father is supposed to want the best for us, how was this the best for me? Again I got the answer that everything would be fine and it would be revealed in time. Well I didn't want to wait, I wanted the answer now.
Alaska came after that. It was there that I got my answer. That was when I really came to know God. Partially through study and also through just being in a place that you could see His marvels abound. Once I had my answer I thought that was it. I had gotten what I was looking for so I could stop trying so hard. But by stopping I started thinking more about how I was going to do things, how I was going to get what I wanted. It was about me and I didn't care about the people I hurt along the way. I became very hard hearted and wasn't worried about anyone but me.
I had glimpsed the truth and chose the quick and easy path instead of working for something that mattered. I wanted satisfaction now. That was a very dark time for me. I did a lot of things I'm not proud of. However if I could go back and change it I wouldn't. Those things I wont talk about here, but it is enough for me to say that because of them I was able to learn even more.
Moving to Utah I meet a man at school who reached out to me. He touched my life in such a gentle way and showed me what it was that was making me so miserable. Because someone cared to reach out to a stranger my life has improved so much.
I had the light and I chose the dark. That is part of the beauty of what God does. He loves us enough that he is willing to let us make our mistakes, he isn't going to force us to do the right thing. People ask why he allows bad things to happen to good people. To them I say because he loves us he allows each of us to chose, sometimes the choices people make lead to bad things happening. He will hold each of us accountable for what we chose.
I know there is a God. I know my Heavenly Father loves me. There is no doubt it my mind. I still don't know the full reason why things have to happen the way they do, but I do know that each step along they way he wants to be there for us we just have to let him. If life was easy we would never grow, if life was fair we wouldn't appreciate what we had, if there was no sadness we could never know joy.
I watch my Father and see how much pain he goes through because of his children when we do something that leads to a bad end. I see him want to rescue us but there isn't anything he can do to make it better. I can only imagine what our Father in Heaven feels.
I watched as his son was suffered in the garden for us. He stood by as his son was beaten and taunted. He allowed them to nail him to a tree. He did this so we might have a way back to him. Christ was willing to do this for us. The love they have is amazing and at times I don't feel I'm worth it. I am though. God loves us, Christ loves us. I know this and I had to share it. I don't know how well I did but I hope that you can feel their love as much as I do. I am so grateful to have their love in my life.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
I'm bad at posting
So I have this blog and I don't hardly post in it. When I started this I had the best of intentions. I was going to write in it everyday and my thoughts were going to change the world. Yeah well that didn't happen. I keep forgetting to post or I don't feel like posting, things that I shouldn't let stop me. I guess there is a plus, at least I remember I have it and make a post from time to time. It's better then never posting in it. I'm really going to work on posting in it more.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
There is Enough Stupid in Washington Already
Abstract
The atmosphere in Washington is one of winning and causing the other guy to lose. If we stay on this course our country will suffer. In order to get back to what we once were it is going to take an effort on everyone’s part to stop blaming the other guy. “Whether it's done through a third party or reforming the two we already have, we need candidates and leaders who prize the virtues of bipartisanship and solving problems over blame-game politics.” (Harman, 2011)
There is Enough Stupid in Washington Already
One can only imagine what those men who meet in that hall in Philadelphia were thinking as they signed their names to a document that would found a whole new nation. Fear and optimism must have been high, one misstep and it would all be for naught. Yet these men of different backgrounds and trades came together to forge not one document, The Declaration of Independence, but two, The Constitution. Their goal was to make this a nation unlike any other with freedoms we could cherish. However today’s Congress is much different. It isn’t about working together but destroying the other party. In order for this country to pull out of its nosedive both parties must begin working together in a true bipartisan effort.
“ Today, representatives would rather blame the other guy for not solving a problem than work with him or her on a bipartisan solution.” (Harman, 2011) It is a sad state of affaires we find out selves in when those we send to Washington to represent us are more interested in blaming the other person then getting things done. Instead of working together to fix a problem they compound it to the point that no one is happy with the final outcome. One needs only to look at the most recent debt crisis to see this in action. Instead of working out a solution that would benefit the nation, they instead fought and bickered to the point that the rest of the world has downgraded our economy and doesn’t trust us to be the nation we once were regarding our debts.
Who wins in this type of situation? No one. When election season comes around each side will in turn blame the other for what they see as a failure to compromise. Yet how can there be compromise if both sides refuse too. “Working together requires sharing the credit-but that might give the other party an opportunity to win.” (Harman, 2011) There was a time when this wasn’t the thinking in America. Sadly though the mentality of your either with us or against us has become a pandemic. Both JFK and Regan knew the power of working together to forge something great, to carry on the tradition set by our Founding Fathers as an example.
It is hard to blame one party for the current atmosphere in Washington. It would be much easier if there were a clear-cut bad guy in this situation. Yet how can there be when everyone is corrupt? We are all Americans wanting a better world to live in. We want a home for our families, food to feed them, an education for our children, and the safety of knowing that tomorrow is coming. So then why is it so hard for those that we elect, who promise to work for these things, to do it?
The answer is simple the system needs to change. We cannot keep heading in the direction we are going if we want this country to be still standing in a hundred years. The true enemy of freedom isn’t some foreign land but the greed in our own system. Only when we start working together for the good of our citizens can we truly begin to be a united nation. Is there more then one way to do something? Of course there is. But does that mean one way is right and the other wrong? No, it just means we will have to work harder to find a solution that works for everyone. Bipartisan is what we need to work towards. We need to stop electing people who only want to work for themselves and start electing people that will work for us.
References
Bibliography
Harman, J. (2011, August 15). Escape From the Asylum; Watching the debt crisis, a former congresswoman yearns for a lost bipartisan era. Newsweek , 158 (7).
The atmosphere in Washington is one of winning and causing the other guy to lose. If we stay on this course our country will suffer. In order to get back to what we once were it is going to take an effort on everyone’s part to stop blaming the other guy. “Whether it's done through a third party or reforming the two we already have, we need candidates and leaders who prize the virtues of bipartisanship and solving problems over blame-game politics.” (Harman, 2011)
There is Enough Stupid in Washington Already
One can only imagine what those men who meet in that hall in Philadelphia were thinking as they signed their names to a document that would found a whole new nation. Fear and optimism must have been high, one misstep and it would all be for naught. Yet these men of different backgrounds and trades came together to forge not one document, The Declaration of Independence, but two, The Constitution. Their goal was to make this a nation unlike any other with freedoms we could cherish. However today’s Congress is much different. It isn’t about working together but destroying the other party. In order for this country to pull out of its nosedive both parties must begin working together in a true bipartisan effort.
“ Today, representatives would rather blame the other guy for not solving a problem than work with him or her on a bipartisan solution.” (Harman, 2011) It is a sad state of affaires we find out selves in when those we send to Washington to represent us are more interested in blaming the other person then getting things done. Instead of working together to fix a problem they compound it to the point that no one is happy with the final outcome. One needs only to look at the most recent debt crisis to see this in action. Instead of working out a solution that would benefit the nation, they instead fought and bickered to the point that the rest of the world has downgraded our economy and doesn’t trust us to be the nation we once were regarding our debts.
Who wins in this type of situation? No one. When election season comes around each side will in turn blame the other for what they see as a failure to compromise. Yet how can there be compromise if both sides refuse too. “Working together requires sharing the credit-but that might give the other party an opportunity to win.” (Harman, 2011) There was a time when this wasn’t the thinking in America. Sadly though the mentality of your either with us or against us has become a pandemic. Both JFK and Regan knew the power of working together to forge something great, to carry on the tradition set by our Founding Fathers as an example.
It is hard to blame one party for the current atmosphere in Washington. It would be much easier if there were a clear-cut bad guy in this situation. Yet how can there be when everyone is corrupt? We are all Americans wanting a better world to live in. We want a home for our families, food to feed them, an education for our children, and the safety of knowing that tomorrow is coming. So then why is it so hard for those that we elect, who promise to work for these things, to do it?
The answer is simple the system needs to change. We cannot keep heading in the direction we are going if we want this country to be still standing in a hundred years. The true enemy of freedom isn’t some foreign land but the greed in our own system. Only when we start working together for the good of our citizens can we truly begin to be a united nation. Is there more then one way to do something? Of course there is. But does that mean one way is right and the other wrong? No, it just means we will have to work harder to find a solution that works for everyone. Bipartisan is what we need to work towards. We need to stop electing people who only want to work for themselves and start electing people that will work for us.
References
Bibliography
Harman, J. (2011, August 15). Escape From the Asylum; Watching the debt crisis, a former congresswoman yearns for a lost bipartisan era. Newsweek , 158 (7).
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Character
Men best show their character in trifles, where they are not on their guard. It is in the simplest habits, that we often see the boundless egotism which pays no regard to the feelings of others and denies nothing to itself.
~Arthur Schopenhauer
Every man, as to character, is the creature of the age in which he lives. Very few are able to raise themselves above the ideas of their times.
~Voltaire
~Arthur Schopenhauer
Every man, as to character, is the creature of the age in which he lives. Very few are able to raise themselves above the ideas of their times.
~Voltaire
Waiting for the darkness
I'm still awake at 11:17 pm. I should be asleep, resting for the morning so I can wake up fresh and ready to take a test for my psyc class. But I can't sleep. I can't sleep cause my mind wont shut off. It would be great if I could figure out how to silence it. I often wonder about some people and how empty their minds seem. I wonder how they can be content to go through life like that. I also wonder about people who are so encumbered by worry that they never smile. The only thing they seem to enjoy doing is worrying even more and don't know what to do if there is nothing to worry about. My mind wonders. Focus on sleep. That is the goal.
Goal, yes goal. Graduation. Oh how wonderful that will be. To actually be able to say I did it for my self. That it was my hard work that got me to that point. That stupid class. That psyc class online that makes me want to pull my hair out because it makes since and none at the same time. Not again, mind wondering. Must get it back onto thinking about sleep.
Sleep, I wonder how those in power sleep at night. I mean how can they look in the mirror and be okay with themselves? They are put in by the people to represent the people but in the end they represent themselves. Why punish the people cause they can't do their job, why not stop there own pay and take that money to pay those who have earned it with years of hard work.
Hard work, oh I wish I could find work. I hate waiting. I nailed that interview. I should have the job now. I shouldn't have to wait. Wait. Yes I'm waiting for sleep. Sleep wont come with thoughts going through my head. I need to sleep. I wont sleep though. Not soundly. I'll toss and turn and wake up feeling like I haven't sleept. Maybe I shouldn't sleep. Wait to sleep when exhaustion overtakes me.
I can't do that. Close my eyes and focus on sleep. That's what I need to do. Restless sleep is better then no sleep.
Goal, yes goal. Graduation. Oh how wonderful that will be. To actually be able to say I did it for my self. That it was my hard work that got me to that point. That stupid class. That psyc class online that makes me want to pull my hair out because it makes since and none at the same time. Not again, mind wondering. Must get it back onto thinking about sleep.
Sleep, I wonder how those in power sleep at night. I mean how can they look in the mirror and be okay with themselves? They are put in by the people to represent the people but in the end they represent themselves. Why punish the people cause they can't do their job, why not stop there own pay and take that money to pay those who have earned it with years of hard work.
Hard work, oh I wish I could find work. I hate waiting. I nailed that interview. I should have the job now. I shouldn't have to wait. Wait. Yes I'm waiting for sleep. Sleep wont come with thoughts going through my head. I need to sleep. I wont sleep though. Not soundly. I'll toss and turn and wake up feeling like I haven't sleept. Maybe I shouldn't sleep. Wait to sleep when exhaustion overtakes me.
I can't do that. Close my eyes and focus on sleep. That's what I need to do. Restless sleep is better then no sleep.
To Dream
I close my eyes and wait for sleep
I dare to dream and let my mind fly
Yet bound to Earth and cares not mine
Tortured by things I cannot control
I close my eyes and wait for sleep
Oh open damn eyes and see the light
Darkness blinds letting hatred grow
I dare to dream and my mind fly
Not dreams but nightmares plag my mind
Atrocities abound across the canvas of my sleep
I close my eyes and wait for sleep
I am not sleeping, I am not dreaming
I am awake, and I weep
I dare to dream and let my mind fly
Yet bound to Earth and cares not mine
Tortured by things I cannot control
I close my eyes and wait for sleep
Oh open damn eyes and see the light
Darkness blinds letting hatred grow
I dare to dream and my mind fly
Not dreams but nightmares plag my mind
Atrocities abound across the canvas of my sleep
I close my eyes and wait for sleep
I am not sleeping, I am not dreaming
I am awake, and I weep
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
What friendship means to me
Friendship to me isn't just about being there when things are good, but also when things are bad. It's putting up with some of their stupid quirks because they put up with yours. It is wanting to see them happy even if it means they walk away from you. Sometimes someone being happy means that you only play a small part in their life.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
A cool little auction site
This auction site is actually pretty cool. It's free and a good way to just get rid of stuff you don't want anymore. You earn points and sell in points. It's kind of like a big trading site.
more free stuff on Listia
more free stuff on Listia
Job Interview on Tuesday
So I have a job interview and I'm really excited. It's at Toys"R"us, only part time but it's exactly the kind of job I need while in school. It is a group interview so I'm a little nervous but I'm sure I'm going to nail it. Practicing that technique of already picturing you have it so good vibes follow. I want this job so bad.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
About Me
You know I've always just assumed if you are reading this blog you know me. That you know where I've been, where I'm at, and where I plan to go. Then it dawned on me that maybe you found this by accident. Or someone linked you to it, that maybe you found it searching for something else. Well then it would seem that this blog is really random. So let me give you a little run down.
The name of the blog, No Ordinary Human, refers to a line in the British show Doctor Who, of which I am a fan. "There is no such thing as an ordinary human" he says in an episode called The Lazarus Experiment. It really it me so I thought I would use a variation of it for my title. We are all unique and contribute something to this world. For some it is something great that changes the world, for others it is something small that changes them and those around them. So I try to remember that. That I'm more then ordinary.
Now with the explanation of my title out of the way I can tell you a little about me personally. I'm 27, be 28 in October. I'm the youngest of four children and the closest in age to me is 14 years older. Two brothers and one sister. I've always been closer to my sister then my brothers. They are all married and have children of their own. Two nieces and five nephews total.
I'm currently enrolled in school at Stevens-Henager College. I'm working on my degree in Graphic Design. I've just started and loving it so far. There is a lot of work but when your working towards something you love it doesn't seem as hard. I've always had a more artistic side even though my drawing skills at times leave something to be desired. Graphic Design isn't all about drawing though so I will find my spot in it I'm sure. My dream job would be working at Wizards of the Coast doing book layouts and such.
I just moved. Well by just I mean about three and half months ago. But it's still pretty fresh here. So with a move comes looking for work. It is proving a little harder then I thought it would. However head up and trying to be positive. It will happen. After all the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Hobby wise I have quite a few but as of late I have not really partaken in a lot of them. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and G.I. Joe are both something that I've collected since I was a kid. They have become more of just collecting the comics as of late. I'm a nerd. Plain and simple. I also like to write. That has sufferd to as of late. It is something I should try and do way more then I do. I need to make an effort towards it. Readin, loving reading. If I don't have three books going at once I feel I'm falling behind. Like to camp. Haven't been in a while with moving around as much as I have in the last few years. Animals, I think they are great. Playing with the dog we have is a great thing.
And I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints. For those not familiar with that church, well most people refer to us as Mormons. Now I want to clear one thing up, and that is yes we are Christians. The name of our savior is in our church's name, the only way to salvation is through Him. It is because of His atonement we can be saved. Now I'll get off my soap box. We are just as normal as everyone else. There are those out there that say religion is a crutch for those to weak to stand on their own. To them I say, I know that there is a God based on what I've seen. Go stand on top of a mountain and look out across the view below, look under the ocien at all the different aquatic life with their colors and homes, look into space and then look me in the eye and tell me it was all an accident.
Anyway I think that gives you all a little view about me. I hope you learned something. I look forward to posting more in the future and sharing more of my self in each post and thought I put up. I hope you enjoy your time with me.
Alone
So lately I feel alone. Not that I am mind you, I live with my Dad and Step-mom so there is someone always around at home and then when I'm not here I'm at school where there are lots of people. But even with having people around I feel alone. It is something inside. I can't blame others because it's not their fault. The feeling is mine and I'm the one who has to change it. The problem is I don't know how.
I guess the main reason I feel alone at home is because I'm not working. I'm basically existing on the whims and mercies of others. As much as I'd like to have a say and be able to make decisions I have to remember that it is not my place to do so. I guess that is one of the hard things about moving back to live with parents. You have to give up some of those freedoms. It's not bad though, because I don't have to worry about those things it makes it easier on me. Yet at the same time I see how much they weigh on my parents and I want to help shoulder the burden. But how does a child console and give the parent council?
At school I feel alone also. Oh I've meet people and most of them are amazing people, but I only see them briefly. Being in the program I'm in everyone else in class is working towards the same goal. These people will be my competition when I start to look for work. If I get to know them, about them, it will make it that much harder knowing that I'm trying to out do them for a job. Then on the other hand I can't just backdown and let them have things because I feel bad. But the commandment is to love your fellow man, to help your neighbor.
I've started going back to church also. Still there I feel alone too. The boundaries for the Ward I'm in just got changed so everyone is new. I should be on equal footing with them all but it doesn't feel that way. This one is my fault the most and there is no way around it. It is my feeling of inadequacy. I know where those feelings come from and that I should not be paying attention to them but at the same time they are there and when you hear them so often it is hard to tune them out.
Maybe I'm not as happy with my self as I thought I was. When I look at my self in the mirror I see two images. It is like that old Native American story, there are two wolfs fighting over meat but only one will be feed. Which one do you give the meat to? Like I said I know that the only one who can change this is me. I know that in order for me to not feel like this the change has to come from inside. Yet how do you change and not become someone those around you don't know anymore? When you've spent your life putting others first how do you put your self first?
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Another Mod down
Well today is the last class of my second Mod. It feels good to be accomplishing this. To finally go back to school and be working on my degree. Now that isn't to say there hasn't been days where I want to throw my hands up and say enough is enough. Heaven knows that this Mod has had enough of those days. But I know when this is all over I'll have the best feeling in the world.
My first two Mod's I only had one class each, this one coming up starting Monday I'll have two. One on campus and one online. The online class has me a little scared but I'm sure I'll do fine. Get my books today and give them a look over the weekend. I'm moving in the right direction. Now to work to get the other things in my life moving in the same direction.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Transformers: Dark of the Moon is the third movie in the Transformer series, being such I really didn't expect a lot from it. The last two movies have left a bad taste in a lot of peoples mouths and I was amongst those. Having grown up in the '80s I really wanted to like them. I mean a live action Transformer movie had been something I'd always dreamed of as a little boy. I was there opening day for the first movie ready to be blown away. I left that theater numb. The second one I went to see in IMAX thinking they had to have learned from their mistakes. It seems they had not. I felt cheated and betrayed.
With the third movie I waited awhile to see it. I just didn't have that overwhelming desire to see it. Yet part of me felt I had started this journey so I might as well finish it. So I sucked it up and went to see it. And I must say I was surprised. They actually seemed to be able to pull a decent movie out of it this time. Maybe the backlash from the second hit them hard enough to pay attention or they just figured they had to go out with a bang. Either way they made one hell of a movie.
The actual Transformer characters were actually given personality more so then in the last movies. You kind of got a since that they were more then just machines that were locked in a war. You saw how it affected them, how they felt about being in exile, and how their war affected humans. They began to become more then one dimensional characters. There was still a long way to go to flush them out but it was a start.
The human aspect of the movie too was done well for once. You could actually care about the characters. They were relatable. Sam (Shia Lebeouf) is a college graduate struggling to find his place in the world. Trying to find work, balancing a relationship, and coming to terms with the fact he isn't as important as he thinks he is makes for a great character arch. The other actors do amazing also. This is the first time in this franchise that makes you wish we got to spend a little more time with them.
However it is far from a perfect movie. I would have liked to see the Decepticon's fleshed out a little more. They have suffered a lot in these movies. To see some of their background and why they do what they do would be nice. But for what little screen time they got it was decent.
If you have seen the first two I highly recommend seeing this one. If you haven't seen the first two I still recommend seeing this one. By no means will it win any awards but it is still a fun some movie.
Change in plan
Originally I thought I'd keep this as sort of an online journal, well that doesn't seem to be happening. I just have a hard time putting into words what happened in the day. Besides my days aren't that interesting really. I do pretty much the same thing each day. But I like having a blog I've discovered. It's fun to just get on here and type what I'm thinking about.
So with that I'm just letting everyone know that this wont be a journal anymore and more of just a catch all of thoughts, poems, quotes, stories and the like that I feel like posting. Facebook is great and I enjoy it a lot but I know it annoys me when someone has like 15 updates in one day. This allows me do post as much as I like about whatever I want to, those who want to read it great and those who don't don't have to.
Now that we have cleared up what this will be now we are all good. There should be more posts too now. Anyway thank you for those of you that read my blog. I hope to make it a lot more interesting for you.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Dog Park
Today was fun. I took the dog to the dog park. At first I was going to keep her on her leash but a woman there talked me into letting her run free. Dolly was very well behaved. She played with the other dogs and submitted when she needed to. I think we will go back sometime and let her run. It's good for a growing puppy. Plus it knocks her out at night.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
July 6 2011
Today has been an interesting day. Nothing grand happened but sometimes it's the small things that make the day worth it. Something as simple as just listening to music, or talking to a friend you haven't heard from in while can make the day different in an instant.
School was good today. It seemed to go by very quickly. Almost to fast. Covered Excel. The good thing is since we missed a class we don't have to do as much homework. The bad part is, well not a lot of time to cover the material. Got through the homework mostly though.
The rest of the day however well it's mostly been vegging. Tomorrow I start my six page paper. Well start and finish. And it's really only 3 and a half so that should be doable.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
July 4 and 5
Well I wrote how I felt about the 4th of July but not about my day. Instead of trying to do a double post I thought I'd just combined the two since really nothing much happened.
The 4th was pretty much just spent with the family. We went for a little drive, at night we watched fire works on the TV. The highlight of my day was getting the next book in the series I'm reading. It was a good day.
The 5th has been even slower. I guess that is what happens though when you have a week off of school and don't have job. Nothing to do the day seems to drag on. Just spent it around the house really. Didn't really have any exciting thing happen. Just typing in this so I can form the habit. Tomorrow I have class. We will be learning about Excel or at least that's what we are supposed to be learning about. I'll let you know tomorrow if that is what we learned.
Also I really need to start working on my APA paper.
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